1 Month Post-Op Pics

So Thanksgiving just passed, the holiday that every new bariatric surgery patient dreads. Because I wasn't involved in the normal 3-day preparation of food, I really had a lot of time to reflect. I must say that I am most thankful for my lifestyle change. It's amazing how my life really has changed. I read so many posts on Facebook about how people couldn't wait to eat this or that. I was just excited about getting together with a lot people. On Thanksgiving morning I worked out! This is sooooooo different from my former life. I felt so good and there was no way I was wasting that on some pie.

I did well at Thanksgiving dinner. I wasn't bothered with all the food until it was time to make my plate. I started to feel so much anxiety. My neck got hot and I started sweating. I took a couple of deep breaths and proceeded on. I grabbed my dessert-sized plate and got about a forkful of the things I chose. I waited for my husband to finish making his plate so that I wouldn't go to the table alone. I don't know if I felt more anxiety over eating or the fact that my plate didn't look like all the others. I really didn't feel like explaining everything to these people I had just met. I ate about half of the food on the plate and was full. Wow. Thanksgiving just lost it's luster. I had no sweets as they are my kryptonite.

I made it. I got through my first big holiday after bariatric surgery. I didn't eat too much. I recognized my anxieties and dealt with them in a healthy manner. This journey is as much a mental one as it is a physical one. There are so many old behaviors that have to be shed and new mindsets that have to be put on. Bariatric surgery is not to be taken lightly.

Well today marks one month since I have had my surgery. To date I have lost 28 lbs and a whole lot of inches. I am very pleased with my progress so far. I am following my plan and I workout 5 times a week. These things together have been the catalysts to my success. The surgery was just the beginning. I must be intentional everyday about what I eat. I have to make a decision to workout. Well...seeing is believing...

Yayyyyy Me!!!!!!

One of my pet peeves...

So one of my biggest pet peeves is when parents stop using car seats on children too early. Having 3 kids myself, I understand the labor involved in strapping kids in properly. More importantly I understand these safety measures are protecting my children. Here is a list of the issues that really bother me regarding child safety seats:

1. Infant Car Seats: If I am able to move the base of your infant car seat from side to side, it is not in properly. The base should not move at all. It should also be grounded with the tether system. Those are those extra straps that many people just throw in the hole where the seat belt goes.  According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), 3 out of 4 car seats are improperly installed.
2.  Rear-Facing or Not: Children should be rear facing until they are 1 year old and weigh at least 20 lbs. I'm sorry if little James has long legs, cross them at his ankles and he will be okay and a lot safer. 
3. Booster Seat Start: Most booster seats are made for children weighing 40 lbs or more. Stop putting your 4 year old that weighs 30 lbs in a booster seat. That booster seat was not designed for their weight. Safety first!
4. Booster Seat End: According to MD state law (where I live, so it's the state I'll quote) every child under 8 years old must ride in an appropriate child restraint unless the child is 4 feet, 9 inches or taller, or weighs more than 65 pounds. So if your 10 year old weighs 60 lbs, they need to be in a booster seat. They will not think it's cool, but who's the parent? 
5. No Seat Belt At All: According to MD state law, every child 8 and above who is not secured in a child restraint must be secured in a vehicle seat belt. It's not okay for a child to be leaning from the back on the middle console talking to you.

These things sound really simple, but there are too many people that are not properly restraining their children. It doesn't matter if you are going on a road trip or around the corner to the store, please be responsible. These measures have been set in place to protect your child. Still not moved to see if your child is in the correct safety seat? Well let me ask you this, are ready to be the blame of their death in the event of an accident?

A Stroll Through My Mind...

One of the questions that my therapist asked me in our last session was if I regretted having the surgery. I can honestly say that I have not felt any regrets during any part of the process so far. Knowing all that I know now, I would absolutely do again.

Today I went to a support group for bariatric surgery. Oh my goodness! It was phenomenal. There were people there that hadn't had surgery, all the way to 2 years post-op. Such a wealth of information filled the room. I gleaned so much from just listening. You guys know I love to talk, so it had to be some good stuff. I definitely will be attending every group opportunity that I am physically able to attend. In this journey, you feel like you are doing a lot of explaining to people that can hardly fathom what you're going through. Having people that are right there with me, I know is going to prove to be my most valuable resource.

Well, a lot of people are asking me what is my goal weight. I don't know that I have a concrete goal weight. I definitely can't wait to get to Onederland (the 1 hundreds). But I think I'd like to be about a 14. Maybe a 12. For my height, both of those are very good sizes. The more I think about it, I really want to enter almost any store and be able to buy clothes. Having been limited to just a few stores for so long, I know that would make me happy. More importantly than weight and size though, I have other goals. Here goes a few off of my list. I'll share them periodically:

1. I want to go to an amusement park and not have fear of whether I will fit in a ride.
2. I would like to cross my legs comfortably. You know and the leg actually fall beside the other leg. 
3. I'd like to wear a shirt and not have to constantly worry about pulling it down over my butt because part of it has gotten wedged between one of my rolls. Real Talk!
   
4.  I'd like to go on a nice jog with my husband.
5. I want to be a role model for my girls in health and body.

Well that's it for now. This week I am 3 weeks post-op and I weigh 294 lbs. That's a 26 lb weight loss total. Tomorrow will be my 5th consecutive day of working out. I am doing great!

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

That's what I said when I got on the scale on Sunday and I was 295.8 lbs. I had gained 3 lbs. Of course I went into panic mode. What did I do wrong? Did I eat too much? (Really? I don't know why this thought came.) My mind went straight back to my past attempts at weight loss. I remembered how I would lose only to gain it all back. Then I stopped and took a deep breath. I told myself to relax and I got dressed for church.

During church the singers sang a song that said, "Because you are with me, I will not fear." Fear had gripped me. I wasn't enjoying the now, because I was fearful of the 'what ifs.' At that point, I gave all my fears to God. I prayed and told Him to take over. Because you are with me, I will not fear. Then later in the service they sang "Moving Forward." A perfect song to seal the commitment that I had just made with Christ. The service ended and I felt great. People complimented me on the weight loss and I left on cloud 9.

Monday I met with my personal trainer for the first time. I was sucking wind the entire workout, but hey I finished. She told me that the gain could have been a number of factors, to include water retention. I was further soothed with her words. This along with the church service really set me up for my counseling session with my therapist.

In my therapy session I told her about the anxiety I would get when eating. Which I know was fear of gaining. She explained to me that with any major change, there is always going to be some anxiety. She also reminded me that it had only been 2 weeks since my surgery. My mind and my body were both still adjusting to this drastic change. We went on to talk about measures I had in place to ensure my success. So now if I become anxious I will remind myself that God is with me and I have a plan in place. I'm taking one day at time and I am not concerned with anything past this day that I am in.

So far so good. Today was great. I did spin class (still sucking wind) but I finished. I weigh 295.2 lbs and I am content. 


 

The Battle of the Mind

So a 27 lb loss is something to be happy about, but I am haunted with the feeling that I will gain the weight back. It's real! I have such anxiety every time I eat. "Is this going to make me gain? Did I eat too much? I hope I don't stretch out my pouch?" It's irrational to think that I could even gain at this point, with the small amounts I'm able to consume. But the thoughts are still there. Eating is not enjoyable at all. Which is comforting in a way, but not healthy.

I have an appointment scheduled with my therapist on Monday. I also have a support group meeting on Thursday.  I know they both will help a lot. I was reminded by a friend this week that there are 2 processes going on. The process of me losing weight and the process of healing what caused the weight gain. In order to be successful the 2 cannot be separated. This really is a lifestyle change. I have to change what I eat, the amount I eat, when I eat, and most importantly how I think. I am constantly reminding myself of 1 scripture in particular Ephesians 4:22-23-"That you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness."

The battle continues...

Bye-Bye 300s!!!!

It has been 2 weeks since my surgery. This week I have been eating pureed foods. It's a little weird but doable. I still have at least 2 protein shakes a day to ensure I'm getting an adequate amount of protein. Actually eating real food has given me a little anxiety. I still haven't felt hungry yet. I know that I need to get the right amount of protein in each day, but it's hard to eat when you are not hungry. I mean, that's what got me in this situation in the first place. So I stop eating when I'm full and just sip the protein shakes throughout the day. This is also what my doctor recommended. My pouch (my new stomach) can be stretched if filled with too much.

I had my post-op appointment yesterday and everything is going well. My incisions are closed and the doctor has given me the go ahead to take it up a notch in my exercise. I have been walking everyday for 20 minutes so I will increase that to 30 minutes. I still can't do any ab or core exercises because I'm still healing on the inside. My main guidance has been to listen to my body. If I feel pain, I must stop immediately. Pretty easy. I can only lift up to 5 lbs, so no major weight lifting yet. My energy level changes everyday. Some days I feel really good and other days I feel weak and lethargic. This is my body's way of reminding me that I just had surgery. On those days, I lay in bed and really get rest. I have been diligent in listening to my body and my doctor's instructions. To that I attribute my success.

To date I have lost........drum roll please.............27.2 lbs!!!! I weigh 292.8 lbs!!!! I am beyond excited. My goal was to have lost 20 lbs by November 27th. I have passed that goal and I still have 2 weeks before my 1 month anniversary.

You don't understand how it feels to weigh under 300 lbs. The day I hit 300 lbs was a pretty bad day. It was so depressing to think that I was morbidly obese. This fat could really kill me! I had moved to the category with the "really" big people. For the first time I didn't share my weight with my husband. I had to have been in the 300s for about 6 months before I told him. So to be under 300 lbs and a nice distance from it, is so refreshing. I bought myself a little clothing today as a reward. A far cry from what I used to do. I would have gotten a like it size founder's favorite from Cold Stone in the past. That was the old Syree. "Hello" to the new me and "Bye-Bye" 300s!!!

When the going gets tough, the tough get going!

It's been 1 loooooooooooooonnnng week since my surgery. I am feeling good. I am actually writing this from my hospital bed. It's a long story so I'm going to pause for a minute and do chronological overview of the days.

Thursday: Surgery day and everything went well. I was in a good bit of pain but was given a pain pump which I used. I was able to walk down the halls.
Friday: Pain wasn't as bad. I walked more and was sipping broth and water. While in the hospital my diet was clear liquids.
Saturday: Was released from the hospital and sent home. I'm now able to have a full liquid diet (which added milk, sugar free popsicles, yogurt). I was so excited to be home. Hubby was awesome getting me all set up in our room.
Sunday: Feeling good enough for some exercise. I took a 10 minute walk with hubby and felt amazing. I was tolerating the diet and vitamins really well. I'm still in awe at the fact that I hadn't felt hungry.
Monday: Started off great. I did a 15 min walk. I was taking my pills and vitamins on time. My pain was being controlled well with the medication. At about 5:00 pm I started feeling nauseous. I tried to take the nausea medication and threw it up. I wasn't able to tolerate water either. I laid down and decided I would try to drink again when it was time for my pain medication. I tried again and was unsuccessful. I laid down for another 4 hours and tried again only to dry heave more.
Tuesday: At 1:00 am I called the surgeon. At this point I was able to take small sips of water. The nurse called me back at 4:00 am and told me to call the clinic at 8:00 am to be seen. The clinic was unable to see me and told me to go to the ER. I arrived at the ER at 10:30 am. They gave me IV fluids, pain and nausea medicine intravenously. I started to feel better almost immediately. Later that day, they tried to get me to take oral medication. I immediately got nauseous. They decided to keep overnight at 5:00 pm. 5:30 pm I had a CT scan of my abdomen to make sure that everything was working right. I was finally given a room at 9:30 pm. That evening they gave me a "banana bag" IV which is like Gatorade with vitamins. Apparently it gets bubbles in the IV. I didn't sleep much because the alarm kept going off.
Wednesday: I was able to tolerate drinking even more. I actually ate broth at all three meals. A lot of progress as I had had nothing the day before (but still without hunger). In the morning they thought I actually might go home. My CT scan came back normal. The final diagnosis for the episode was that I had one of the side effects of the pain medication-nausea. Then I began to dehydrate which causes nausea. After they had changed my pain medication I was doing a lot better. My nurse came and in and told me that they wanted to keep another day to see if I was still doing well.
Thursday: I feel great. I am off all pain medication. I've been up since 2:30 am because they hung another banana bag. The buzzer was going off every 10 minutes. Why don't they do these during the day, I don't know. I just found out that I will be going home today. Yipee!

Whew! I hope that wasn't too much for you. I wanted to be as descriptive as possible for anyone considering bariatric surgery. You need to understand it's not a cake walk. Staying hydrated in your number 1 priority, especially since you can't just guzzle a 20 oz bottle of water in 2 minutes.

I am still really motivated.  I knew it would be a journey coming in to it. I was a little down yesterday. Mostly because I was sooooo bored. I hate being alone so I really wanted to be home. The rational side of me was quite happy that the medical staff was taking such care to make sure I would be good once I returned home.

Well it's now the moment you have all waited for. How much does she weigh?!? As a reminder, my start weight was 320 lbs. My new weight is 306.8 lbs!!!! I have lost a total of 13.2 lbs! Yay me! In case you're wondering, that's the weight I was on Monday before I got sick. I weighed in here at the hospital and I am the same weight.

I didn't think it would be so much so fast, but I am very pleased. I want to be 300 lbs by Nov 27 my 1 month surgery anniversary. Only 6.8 lbs to go for the month!