So a 27 lb loss is something to be happy about, but I am haunted with the feeling that I will gain the weight back. It's real! I have such anxiety every time I eat. "Is this going to make me gain? Did I eat too much? I hope I don't stretch out my pouch?" It's irrational to think that I could even gain at this point, with the small amounts I'm able to consume. But the thoughts are still there. Eating is not enjoyable at all. Which is comforting in a way, but not healthy.
I have an appointment scheduled with my therapist on Monday. I also have a support group meeting on Thursday. I know they both will help a lot. I was reminded by a friend this week that there are 2 processes going on. The process of me losing weight and the process of healing what caused the weight gain. In order to be successful the 2 cannot be separated. This really is a lifestyle change. I have to change what I eat, the amount I eat, when I eat, and most importantly how I think. I am constantly reminding myself of 1 scripture in particular Ephesians 4:22-23-"That you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness."
The battle continues...
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