That's what I said when I got on the scale on Sunday and I was 295.8 lbs. I had gained 3 lbs. Of course I went into panic mode. What did I do wrong? Did I eat too much? (Really? I don't know why this thought came.) My mind went straight back to my past attempts at weight loss. I remembered how I would lose only to gain it all back. Then I stopped and took a deep breath. I told myself to relax and I got dressed for church.
During church the singers sang a song that said, "Because you are with me, I will not fear." Fear had gripped me. I wasn't enjoying the now, because I was fearful of the 'what ifs.' At that point, I gave all my fears to God. I prayed and told Him to take over. Because you are with me, I will not fear. Then later in the service they sang "Moving Forward." A perfect song to seal the commitment that I had just made with Christ. The service ended and I felt great. People complimented me on the weight loss and I left on cloud 9.
Monday I met with my personal trainer for the first time. I was sucking wind the entire workout, but hey I finished. She told me that the gain could have been a number of factors, to include water retention. I was further soothed with her words. This along with the church service really set me up for my counseling session with my therapist.
In my therapy session I told her about the anxiety I would get when eating. Which I know was fear of gaining. She explained to me that with any major change, there is always going to be some anxiety. She also reminded me that it had only been 2 weeks since my surgery. My mind and my body were both still adjusting to this drastic change. We went on to talk about measures I had in place to ensure my success. So now if I become anxious I will remind myself that God is with me and I have a plan in place. I'm taking one day at time and I am not concerned with anything past this day that I am in.
So far so good. Today was great. I did spin class (still sucking wind) but I finished. I weigh 295.2 lbs and I am content.
I am amazed at your commitment to exercise, darling. I am still not able to do much more than walking but do that passionately. I am parking further away from the doors at work, stores, etc. Every little bit helps. Keep Christ as your real personal trainer and you will not fail! You inspire me!
ReplyDeleteAwww thanks! I must push! God blessed me with such an easy recovery, I have to take advantage of it.
ReplyDeleteHey look! I got a blog post update on FB!
ReplyDeleteOkay now that's done...I'm proud of ya, slim. Don't worry about it, as long as your progressing forward and you don't let yourself rest on your laurels (sp?) you'll be fine. Your a strong person, stronger than most, and I see you shrinking back down to high school size. Hey you remember that pic we took together back to back when working on the prom? That size! If you can't remember, i'll have to go look for it and scan it to ya! Good Times...Good Times...! Luv ya!
Thanks Chester! High School size...I don't know about that. I get to that and I don't know what y'all are going to do with me. LOL Make sure to subscribe the blog via email. Thanks for the support buddy!
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